quick bright things

Number 5 was/is a significant barrier to me writing both het and f/f. I have a (bullshit i know) hangup that my body's physical reactions are Not Normal, I don't really want to read about people whose bodies are as difficult as mine, but I get the uncanny valley feeling or feel like I'm producing a fetishising fantasy if I write women whose bodies are Just Way More Fun than mine. I've worked around that block, mostly, but I'm still far more likely to write about sex with a woman where the narrative focus is on 'how it feels to make love to this woman' rather than 'how it feels to have sex as a woman'. (It doesn't map onto a top/bottom or active/passive dynamic, it's more about... what part is the erotic focus? What's going on in your POV character's bits, or how much they're enjoying having their face/hands/etc all up in someone else's parts)